I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
pop tarts are not kleenex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How drunk are you?
Completed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
