You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize