maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
