the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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