Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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