I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
