Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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