She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
