Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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