She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize