it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
