Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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