You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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