i just had sex bonerless
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Drake has all the answers
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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