I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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