Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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