i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
