Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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