Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
