I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize