please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
