The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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