Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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