Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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