'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize