Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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