So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
