I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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