I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
