he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
send nudes
from the living room?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
