Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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