So drunk its hurt
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
