She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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