1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can i not drive my cunt home
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
