I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize