That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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