Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
