Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
