you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
