sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
