it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
