why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
