I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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