I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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