im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
