I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
