Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
