If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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