I CAN MOONWALK!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
