smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
