he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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