Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
