why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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