so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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