Where did you get a picture of my penis
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
