the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
