Got a toothbrush?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
