Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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