Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
