my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
