Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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