Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
