**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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