i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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