Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
