JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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