it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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